Chapter 6
I am posting chapters of my new novel When Ivy Met Adam: A second chance, forced proximity, sexy, queer love-triangle romance. Your feedback is everything. Please post comments here or email me. I’m so excited to hear what you think.
Read earlier chapters here:
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5
Chapter 6 - Ivy
What was I thinking getting back on the apps this close to the holidays? And then to match with someone I actually wouldn’t mind getting to know? Shaking my head at myself.
I have a friend at work who breaks up with anyone he’s dating the week of Thanksgiving and reaches out to reconcile on February fifteenth—that’s how much he hates dating over the holidays. Every single year. Especially Valentine’s Day. “Fuck that made-up holiday,” he grouches every time it comes up. (Note: His efforts to reconcile rarely come to fruition. Go figure!) And here I am fully embracing Cuffing Season.
Anyway, talking to Adam will have to be long-distance for a while, because I have hatched a genius plan for the holiday. I’m hiding from my family and spending Christmas at a sunny tropical resort far from home. Merry holidays to me.
As I step off the plane into the warm, wet air, I am overjoyed. I take in a deep lungful of the humidity I love. I grew up at five-thousand feet, where the air is so dry, static electricity is your constant companion. Anywhere the air is full of water is my favorite place. My love of the tropics took me to Hawaii for law school and my love of Hawaii brings me back for this Christmas mini-break.
That said, we all know this Bumble match with the handsome and hilarious Adam will come to nothing. Without meaning to, I’ve become a serial first dater. Ivy Gardiner: Scaring Off Datable Humans For A Decade. That’s me.
When I meet someone I think I might like, I either play it way too cool… or dive in headfirst. My therapist keeps reminding me to “hold it lightly, Ivy.” Her way of telling me there is a happy medium between obsessing over someone and pushing them away.
Plus, I’ve been a little busy this decade, thank you very much. Law school was the greatest challenge of my life—both in the sense that it was a monumental undertaking and that it was great fun. Summers during law school, I interned at the California Innocence Project in San Diego—talk about hard work. Who had time to date?
After law school, I clerked at the U.S. Court of Appeals in Washington for a year. Because I love learning and abhor injustice, I then doubled down on my studies, pursuing my LL.M. in Law and Sexuality at UCLA. Upon finishing that degree, I was lucky enough to get recruited right away to a Los Angeles firm specializing in cases involving employee rights, voting rights, consumer rights, disability rights, and criminal appeals. I’ve been working my ass off since the day they hired me—this is the first Christmas I’ve been between cases and can take a little time off.
All of which is to say, I need a break. (All of which is probably also an explanation of why I let my sister pressure me to get back on the apps!) So, my family is in Colorado with a hyper-traditional Christmas tree and all the big Irish family trimmings—and I’m here to be alone on a beach reading law books. It’s heaven.
*
This morning is Christmas Eve and I’m doing just that—relaxing in a beachfront lounger with a fruity drink and a thick tome—when I feel like my bikini top is too tight. How annoying, I just bought this B Fyne front-tie top. I loosen the knot I was hoping would give the illusion of larger breasts. Being built like an ironing board rarely bothers me, but beaches and swimwear do nothing to inspire body confidence in this almost-a-B-cup-girl.
Sipping my colorful and delicious cocktail again, I try to ignore the heartburn that’s starting to get really annoying. What did I eat that’s giving me heartburn? It’s so uncomfortable.
I take another long drink to cool my throat. I try to go back to reading, but my brand new bikini feels too tight around my stupid waist now too. How can I have gained enough weight in the three days since I bought it for this gorgeous hot pink, orange, and yellow suit to be shrinking on me? Annoyed at myself, I reach for my glass, but I notice my hand as I do. Huh. Hives. And not just on my hand, now that I look. All up my arm, on my stomach, my legs.
I wonder what that’s all about.
