Teaser Tuesday: ‘They’re nothing like Billy and me’
One of my nearest and dearest read When Ivy Met Adam as she recovered from COVID this weekend. (Get well soon, K!) She was kind enough to text me her real-time responses — complete with page numbers!
“Salute to the nod to Wyn Cooper on pg 114,” she sent.
Of course I had to look up Wyn Cooper. I’m not as well-read as she. I thought I was tipping my hat to Sheryl Crow. 🤓
“What I hear you saying is that you blew it with this guy,” Nellie says. See what I mean? Not the warmest of women.
“Nells, she maintained a boundary,” Nico says. I love it when he sticks up for me. “I mean, this was clearly after she violated all of the previous boundaries she’d set.” Dammit. Foiled by his deadpan delivery yet again.
“That is not sticking up for me, Nico. What the hell kind of best friend are you?”
“The kind that points out your fuck-ups so you can go fix them,” he says. Nellie slaps him on the back, laughing, as she gets up to refill our drinks.
“You two are obviously not listening,” I whine. I start flipping over dominoes so we can play another round.
Nico’s dickhead friend whose name I can never remember (Bill? Or Billy? Or Mack? Or Buddy?) decides to chime in. “Oh, we’re all listening, Ivy. We’ve been listening for the last two hours. And if we don’t get off the subject of how you broke this poor guy’s heart soon, we’ll be talking about it when the ball drops.”
“Whatever. You can gang up on me. I see how it is.” I realize as I go to stand that I may be a little intoxicated. “Adam is hot.”
“Oh, we know that much already,” Billy Mac says. “We’re all starting to develop an inferiority complex with how many times you’ve told us how hot Adam is.”
“But he’s a tick-tick-ticking time bomb,” I slur.
Nellie puts a bottle of water in my hand. “Drink this. And put your money where your mouth is, Ivy. If you’re done with the guy, great. What are you going to do next?”
“Shall we write down some New Year’s resolutions for you, Ivy?” Nico asks. At least I can tell this time that he’s being sarcastic. “Seriously, it might help if you make a list.” Well, shoot. He means it. “Then we can track how quickly you blow off the list just like you blew off your one chance at happiness.”
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
