Moses would make an excellent book boyfriend
Listen. I know we’re supposed to be reflecting on liberation and matzah and miracles this time of year. But The Prince of Egypt came out in 1998 and I have not stopped thinking about animated Moses since. The cloak? The jawline? The brooding sense of moral responsibility? He is, quite frankly, a Torah-certified romance hero.
And as Passover rolls in with its four questions and four-hour seders, I’ve got one more to add: What if Moses were the lead in a slow-burn Jewish romance novel?
Spoiler: I would read it in one night and cry over the HEA ending.
Moses is the original brooding badass with a soft heart. He’s:
Torn between two identities (Egyptian prince / Hebrew slave)
Running from his past (after that ahem accidental murder)
Haunted by a calling he never asked for
Constantly standing up to power (even when no one believes in him)
This man literally glows with divine purpose and crippling self-doubt. And if that’s not romance novel bait, I don’t know what is. But since I couldn’t find any books like that, here are three from my TBR to hold us over.
The Intimacy Experiment by Rosie Danan, narrated by Alex McKenna & Kaleo Griffith
Naomi Grant has built her life around going against the grain. After the sex-positive start-up she cofounded becomes an international sensation, she wants to extend her educational platform to live lecturing. Unfortunately, despite her long list of qualifications, higher ed won't hire her.
Ethan Cohen has recently received two honors: LA Mag nominated him as one of the city's hottest bachelors and he became rabbi of his own synagogue. Low on both funds and congregants, the executive board of Ethan's new shul hired him with the hopes that his nontraditional background will attract more millennials to the faith. They've given him three months to turn things around or else they'll close the doors of his synagogue for good.
Naomi and Ethan join forces to host a buzzy seminar series on Modern Intimacy, the perfect solution to their problems - until they discover a new one - their growing attraction to each other. They've built the syllabus for love's latest experiment, but neither of them expected they'd be the ones putting it to the test.
Unwritten Rules by KD Casey, narrated by Lee Osorio
Ex-teammates—and exes—reunite for a second chance in this delightful sports romance from debut author KD Casey.
Zach Glasser has put up with a lot for the sport he loves. Endless days on the road, playing half-decent baseball in front of half-full stadiums and endless nights alone, pretending this is the life he's always wanted.
The thing is, it could have been everything he ever wanted—if only he'd had the guts to tell his family, tell the club, that he was in love with his teammate Eugenio Morales. Well, ex-teammate now. When Zach wouldn't—couldn't—come out, Eugenio made the devastating choice to move on, demanding a trade away from Oakland. Away from Zach.
Three years and countless regrets later, Zach still can't get Eugenio out of his head. Or his heart. And when they both get selected to play in the league's All-Star Classic, those feelings and that chemistry come roaring back.
Zach wants a second chance. Eugenio wants a relationship he doesn't have to hide. Maybe it's finally time they both get what they want.
Hold Me Down by Sara Taylor Woods
Talia Benson has always been independent, unafraid to go after what she wants, regardless of setback, injury, or failure. But between her father's conditional tuition payments and her mother's nagging concern over her emotional state, Talia's suffocating.
So when Talia meets doctoral student Sean Poole, she can't figure out why she wants him to control her. Why she wants him to boss her around. Why she wants him to hurt her.
Talia learns the hard way that not all control is created equal, and sometimes submitting is the most empowering thing in the world.
In many ways, Passover is about leaving what no longer serves you. But it’s also about holding onto the stories that do.
Tell me your favorite Jewish romance recs. Bonus points if someone parts a metaphorical sea.
Chag sameach, my hearts.
