Chapter 30

Thanks for tuning in as I post chapters of my new novel When Ivy Met Adam: A second chance, forced proximity, sexy, queer love-triangle romance. Your feedback is everything. Please post comments here or email me. I love hearing what you think.

Prologue (old) Prologue (new) Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapters 8&9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 (old) Chapter 15 (new) Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapters 22&23 Chapter 26* Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29

*No chapters are missing. They just got renumbered! 🤓

Chapter 30 - Adam

Ivy crosses her arms over her chest, and I can sense her walls going up, but I’m determined to break them down. I take a deep breath and step even closer to her, feeling the heat of her body as I stand now mere inches away. I know I shouldn’t touch her without permission, but I can’t help myself. Holding two dozen roses in one hand, I reach out with my free hand to brush my fingertips over the smooth skin of her arm.

“Please.” My voice is steady but I feel shaky. “It was never a lack of trust, Vee. It was always about me.” She starts to protest, but I stop her. “Your family has dogs. Did you ever have a dog hide because it was sick?” She nods slowly. “Lots of animals—but it’s easy for us to see in dogs—hide when they are ill or injured. Actually, dogs are especially good at hiding their pain, then when it gets to be too much pain, they hide themselves. It’s how they evolved. They want to please us so much, they mask their injuries to stay their happy, fun-loving, man’s best friend selves. But if the pain overwhelms them, they find a closet or corner and hide away.” I see her eyes soften as she hears what I’m saying. “I masked the pain of being a boy trapped in a girl’s body for my entire childhood and adolescence, Ivy. The only joy I found before my transition was in a science classroom. Or with you.” Her eyes lock on mine. It’s true. Meeting Ivy on the first day of college was the best thing that ever happened to me. My relationship with her saved my life. I dreaded going away to college. Until I met a girl who stole my breath and then stole my heart. I would never have made it without her—I would have quit school (or worse) if it weren’t for Ivy. 

“Give me another chance,” I say. “I know I messed up by not involving you or informing you or inviting you to be a part of this big thing in my life. I promise I won’t make the same mistakes again. I’ve carried the weight of my guilt for hurting you every day since we broke up. You were on my mind every moment we were apart. I wanted to call a million times. But I felt compelled to hide. Transition was tough. It was something I had to do solo. I hope you can understand that—if not right this minute, maybe someday.” I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I know now that I can’t just will her love into existence. I’m figuring this out as I go. I hope she’ll try to do the same. “I respect you as your own person, and I understand that we cannot simply pick up where we left off.” Her question was, where do we go from here? “My hope is that our way forward is through. We can’t ignore our past—even though I was really hoping that might’ve worked.” She smirks. So do I. “But we can try to take baby steps forward. Together.”

Ivy closes her eyes. A soft smile tips up the corners of her lips and my heart soars with hope. But then she pulls away from my touch and takes a step back. “Adam,” she says with a rasp in her voice, almost like she’s waking up or just took a shot of whiskey, “It’s not that simple. It’s not just about forgiveness, it’s about trust. And right now, I’m not sure if I can trust you again.”

I feel a pang of pain in my chest, but I know I can’t give up yet. I take a deep breath and straighten my shoulders, determined to prove to Ivy that I’m worthy of her trust again. “One date.” Dear Lord, I hope this works. My free hand finds hers and I entwine our fingers together. “Let me take you on one date. And if at the end of the evening you still want me to kick rocks, I’ll leave you alone. For good.”