“How was your day?” She looks shocked that I asked. What’s that about?

“My day was good,” she says slowly. Her response is like she knows the answer but isn’t sure I want to know. “I had a great meeting with some of your lawyers today.” A million bad lawyer jokes rush to the front of my brain.

—Kai in Holland, My Heart

Kai loves a good pun. He loves his lawyers, too, actually. No offense to them. Here are some of Kai’s worst best lawyer jokes.

What did the lawyer name her daughter? Sue!

Arguing with a lawyer is like wrestling with a pig in mud — eventually, you realize they like it.

I accused my friend of being a terrible lawyer. She couldn’t defend herself.

Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.

Where do vampires learn to suck blood? Law school.

Did you hear about the lawyer who sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.

A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? Accountants know they’re boring.

How many lawyer jokes are there, anyway? Only three. The rest are true stories.

Have a favorite lawyer joke or pun? Send them my way!