New Prologue

Hello, my hearts. I got some great feedback this weekend and so I have reworked Ivy’s prologue. What do you think? Your feedback is everything. Please post comments here or email me.

Prologue (old) Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapters 8&9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 (old) Chapter 15 (new) Chapter 16 Chapter 17

Prologue - Ivy

late last summer

Nico is my movie buddy. Well, he’s my closest friend (maybe the closest thing I have to a friend?) and my movie buddy. We are the only two in our friend group who consistently want to see every new Marvel movie when it first comes out. His wife Nelly is a saint in that she kicks him out of the house regularly with marching orders to “go play with your little friend.” They are perfect for each other and I am lucky to have them both in my life. 

NICO: Want to see the new Spider-man?

A welcome invitation given it’s only 8 a.m. and my high-rise apartment’s noisy air conditioner already cannot keep up with the blistering LA heat.

IVY: Air conditioning, web slinging AND your company? Heck yes!

Before noon, Nico and I are tucked into our cushy recliners with icy bottles of water, hot popcorn, and movie candy (Sour Patch Kids for him—disgusting—and peanut M&Ms for me—delicious). The gentleman seated next to me is quiet and nondescript—thank goodness. But the man seated next to him… Oh, my. 

The first thing I notice is his smile. So open and bright. The smile of someone genuinely happy to be where he is. A nicely trimmed, dark beard. Great teeth, a gorgeous smile. 

Telling Nico I’ll be back, I get up to go to the bathroom—really, so I can sneak a better peek at the guy. I am too nervous to make eye contact, but I get enough of a look to know I like what I see. Tall, fit, with thick dark hair—and that gorgeous smile. I immediately shrink into myself (too nervous by half) and slip away to the restrooms. 

I still can’t come to the movies without a face mask, but I check to make sure I look pretty cute for a germaphobe. Clean my new black-framed glasses—I cannot fathom what took me so long to admit I needed them—on the hem of my summer dress. 

I imagine myself being bold enough to say “hi” to the stranger. I picture his handsome smile aimed at me. I try to imagine his hi back—would he just say hello? Or would he start a conversation? Oh, gah. How can I try to meet someone in the middle of a movie? What a nerd. What if he’s a pre-previews kind of guy and really wants to watch The Twenty? What if he doesn’t like me? What if he’s not single? What if he’s with-with the guy next to him? Enough. Dry your hands. Go watch Tom Holland save the world one more time, Ivy. Sheesh. 

Deciding I am far too anxious to meet anyone (probably ever), I slip back into my comfy seat and watch the opening credits. Thinking about dating (forget dating, I’m too awkward to even say hello to this man!) has me lamenting my single-since-my-college-girlfriend-broke-my-heart status. I spent law school and my postdoc focused on my studies and little else. Occasional hookups with guys or girls met in bars or on dating apps always ended as one-night stands. Never, ever a second date. 

Here's the thing. I got exceptionally lucky when I met Ali. I wasn't looking to meet anyone on move-in day at the dorms, but there she was. All gorgeous and glowing and perfect. And she liked me back, just as instantly. All my first-year college student awkwardness melted away when the hot girl started up a conversation. It was more love at first sight than it was a meet cute. We were absolutely inseparable from the moment we met. Sigh. 

Ali and I were so into each other when we met on our first day at college, it was difficult to know who was hitting on whom. She struck like lightning and we spent every moment of those precious four years together. 

Until she broke up with me—out of the blue, no reason, no warning, ghosted by my best friend and lover of four years. 

So, because I was handed the best thing in life (and in this case, I had the best thing in life ripped from my heart and my hands), it has been difficult to try to find another love all on my own. I don’t have the skills. More than a decade after she broke my heart, I can close my eyes and still see Ali's face. The face of the person who gave me everything, and then stole it suddenly and completely away. So, yeah, I’m a little wary of dating.  

What sucks is that it is now up to me to go out and search for love again. Okay, maybe I am just a little spoiled. But I don't want to be that girl who has to sift through a lot of people to find The One.

Make no mistake, I want to be in a relationship. Ideally, a relationship that hits me out of the blue just as instantly as it did the first time. Nothing short of that bolt of lightning kind of love at first sight will do. The people I have hooked up with in a long string of first dates and one-night stands didn’t deliver on the instant chemistry, sudden attraction, insta-love I’m looking for. 

In a life full of good fortune, meeting Ali on my first day of college was the luckiest moment of my life. Not that I want Ali back. My dating self-esteem may be low, but it ain’t that low, friends. It’s been a long time, and I have grown up and changed far too much to slink back to my ex. Maybe this guy sitting one seat over has the potential to be my soulmate. Unfortunately, I am ill-equipped to find that out. 

When the movie is over, Nico and I stay for the credits—we always do—and the two men seated next to me go about their day. Missed connection. What a shame.